ADHDifference

S2E25: ADHD, Choosing Happiness & Counting Little Wins + guest Erica Glessing

• Julie Legg

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Julie Legg speaks with Erica Glessing - a writer, publisher, happiness coach, and mother of three neurodivergent children. Diagnosed with ADHD later in life, Erica brings positivity to everything she touches. 

From founding Happy Publishing to producing over 5,000 articles and a plethora of books, Erica has built a life that works with her brain’s natural rhythms.

Together, they explore how embracing creative flow, multiple projects, and daily joy can lead to a more meaningful and manageable life with ADHD.

Key Points from the Episode:

  • Erica’s late ADHD diagnosis through a coaching connection
  • How recognising her children’s differences helped her understand her own brain
  • Building a multi-passionate career through writing, publishing, and SEO
  • The power of letting joy and creative flow guide your work
  • Why she created Happy Publishing and the stories behind her books
  • Strategies for celebrating small wins and choosing joy daily
  • Practical insights on releasing self-judgement and working with your ADHD brain

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🌐 WEBSITE: ADHDifference.nz

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📖 BOOK: The Missing Piece: A Woman's Guide to Understanding, Diagnosing and Living with ADHD

ℹ️ DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for informational purposes only. The views expressed are those of the guests and do not necessarily reflect those of the host or ADHDifference. Read More

JULIE: Welcome to Season 2 of ADHDifference. I'm your host, Julie Legg, ADHD advocate, author of The Missing Piece: A Woman's Guide to Understanding, Diagnosing, and Living with ADHD, and an unapologetic doer of many things. This season, we're turning up the volume with a global lineup of brilliant guests bringing their lived experiences, insights, research, strategies, and resources. And of course, along with a healthy dose of humour and humility. Whether you're neurodivergent yourself or just curious, there's something here for every curious brain. Let's dive in. Today, I'm joined by Erica Glessing, a professional writer, author, and third generation publisher who has built a career telling stories and helping others share theirs. Founder of Happy Publishing and a happiness coach, Erica is a late diagnosed ADHD mum to three neurodivergent children and brings creativity and joy to everything she does. Welcome to the show, Erica. 

ERICA: Oh, I'm so glad to be here, Julie. And it's so fun to hear your down under accent. 

JULIE: I'm really used to it, but I know it's a bit unique for many of my international guests. You of which are one and I'm so glad that you're on the show today. You're a professional writer, author, and a third-generation publisher. So, we've got a lot to talk about, but first of all, can you share your ADHD journey? Can you take us back to when your children were little and you began to recognize that ADHD wasn't just in them but in yourself? 

ERICA: It was so fascinating. I didn't really know what it was even. And so often like young women who do really well in school aren't diagnosed if they're not a behaviour problem, right? Like it's just, you're just, it's never caught. Like it's not even recognized. And it was actually my children were very little and I had a coaching client and she was ADHD. So I bought the book Driven to Destruction. I think his last name is Hallowell. And the way he wrote it is so fun because he does everything big in the first chapter in case you can't read the whole book. So it's beautiful. And there was a self-test. So there was 124 questions. So being the A student that I am always, right lifelong, I took the test and I got 89 which means you know heavily ADHD. And I had no clue before that and so that helped me. I had a daughter with like auditory processing ADHD which is a different one. So, I just ended up getting help for all my kids. And so, my son has this hyperfocus one, which is called ADHD-I. And he doesn't like to end things. He doesn't like projects to end. He doesn't like school to end. Like, he likes to keep everything very focused. And so, that's actually also an ADHD. Isn't that fascinating? [It is. It is indeed.] Yeah. So then I have one more. My third baby, her brain's a lot like mine, which is like it's called like race car brain. Like we do really well when we're balancing 14 different cakes. So understanding that was phenomenal, right? Because I kept thinking something was wrong with me. 

JULIE: We've got enough clues that we're different, but without really identifying how and why, it can be quite an isolating feeling. Yeah, it can be quite confusing and so with an assessment and getting a diagnosis when everything starts making sense for me it was definitely a validating time. How was it for you? 

ERICA: Well, once I understood that I needed a lot of new projects all the time or I wasn't going to be happy. I just had to get over it. I had to just give myself new projects. Like right now I'm building a book called, and this will set the time, but it's called The Magic of Horses. And so I'm having all these different authors come in and write about horses. And I'm building a book about star seeds. And this is a really interesting topic. I just built one and now it wants to be a trilogy. So I have authors coming in to write about that, right? And then I have an SEO business, which is kind of my bread and butter. My first career, like little did I know being a news reporter would be perfect for my brain because every day I'm going somewhere new and every day I'm writing about something new. You know what it reminds me of, Julie, is like, you know how you can do this thing where you get your body test and it says you should eat lots of broccoli and zinc and you really would be benefit if you had this and if you had that and if you did raw protein, whatever. You know, like people do this stuff with nutrition where they get their bodies tested and some do muscle testing even with experts who help them give themselves the right nutrition for their body. And I guess for me with ADHD and my kids with ADHD, I could be more compassionate, right? I could help them with their homework better. I could find someone to help one of them with their homework because I could not fathom her. It was just so different than mine. Also, everyone in our family is highly sensitive, which can be true, right? But I think it gives us a way of like I can give myself proper nutrition. Like I don't resist it anymore. If I get a new idea for a book, I just go build it. Like I don't say, "Oh, I can't do that because I'm still working on this or I can't do that because I'm still doing that." I have to give myself green lights. And that fuels my capacity to finish the projects, right? That gives me the joy by allowing myself the joy. It's just changed my entire life. 

JULIE: I understand certainly juggling multiple projects. I get very concerned when there's not enough on my plate. That sense of boredom creeping in is horrifying for me. So, the idea of having multiple things to do helps with my drive. I'm always, you know, like a motor, as they often explain ADHD. It's driven by a motor. And my mind is like that. I need to know what's now, what's now. And the more urgent deadlines I can put in my calendar, the better because the day races by. I'm really excited. So, I completely get this multiple project thing going on, which leads me into the fact that you've written over 5,000 articles and countless books. That's remarkable for anyone, let alone someone with ADHD. But also, you're the founder of Happy Publishing, built on your belief that books matter. So, I'd love to hear more about your publishing, please. 

ERICA: Well, this is really interesting. I was on a camping trip years back. It was really cold. It was a really cold night up in the mountains. We had a big dy truck. And so, I got into the truck and turned the heater on, turned it on to warm up. And I had I have blank journals. And so my blank journal was there. An entire book. It was my first book. It was called Prospect When You Are Happy. And it just came in like all 12 chapter titles came in. I did know I'd always be an author because again, I had been a journalist. So I knew I'd write books. I just didn't know what they'd be like or when or, right. So it came in so fully formed like it couldn't be denied. And then the title was so weird like Prospect When You Are Happy. I'm like really the clarity was amazing. And so I found a women's publisher. She fell in love with my book. Did the cover published it. Then I did a book called Happiness Quotations which was just all these little insights of like you know what lie did you believe and you know, how do you forgive? And it was just all this like happiness stuff because Prospect When You're Happy ended up being too salesy for my like. I wanted a book that would be evergreen. Then I started having more books come in and she's like "You've outgrown me," and she built Happy Publishing for me. Wow. And gifted it to me. There was it was just "Here's your infrastructure." And I would just get these ideas for covers and books and stories. And then I started to do, you know, more woowoo stuff like the Energy of Happiness. The energy of receiving was a beautiful one that just gave myself wings to have all this beautiful content shared globally with people who were calling it forth. 

JULIE:  That's beautiful.  And there certainly is a theme around happiness. May I ask you why that's really your anchor? 

ERICA: I remember someone was talking to my assistant when I worked in corporate. I worked at Intel for a few years. It's like, is she really that happy? People always have said that about me. You know, I might be having a car breakdown or I might be having my horse needs veterinary bills or I might... but I just chose happiness. And the other thing was I wanted a topic that would work for a longer duration. The Road to Happiness is really eternal like you know you connect to source you let go of judgment. Oh one of my favourite books I did is called the Power of Releasing Judgment. [Oh tell me about that.] You know how we beat ourselves up you know our self-critic. Yes. Definitely with ADHD that's very strong. Yeah. Now, the Power of Releasing Judgment, that one, I got one of the biggest validations I've ever gotten on any of my work. And I'm blessed to get nice people saying nice things about my work. But this woman said she would read my chapter. She would read it every day. Every single day, she goes, "Because it helps me so much face my day. Like it helps me not worry about judgment so much or not worry about what people think so much. And it helps me let go of fear and it helps." And so you just get one of those Julie, just one thing where someone says thank you. Like gratitude is so compelling. And yeah so I think again allowing oneself to have a lot of projects, allowing oneself to follow your heart, allowing oneself. I think when you have ADHD it's harder, a little bit harder, because you might have 27 thoughts and then they don't all actualize or you know. You turn into, I don't know, a hummingbird. But the happiness is just kind of Julie, that's just kind of there like it's just who I am. It's my essence. So it's funny you know, how it is when something's so easy for you that it's almost like you can't fathom it being you know a challenge. But I have one story I'll share. Since we're on ADHD podcast, we can go everywhere, right? So, I had a client who called me and she'd come from a very strict religious household and it wasn't okay to dance and it wasn't okay to sing and it wasn't okay to feel joyful. Those were considered against their religion. So, I know is that so sad. So, she comes to me and I'm like this bubbly happiness coach, right? And she goes, you know, she's just kind of distraught because she doesn't know how to get to happiness, right? I said, just look for like a minute of joyful awe. Just like laugh at something. Like don't put yourself through "I have to be happy all day." Just start seeing little windows where you can be happy, you know? Just, you know, do something. That like for me, petting my horse always makes me feel happy. But just like little things like that and then you just want to get more joyful with it each little one. Like just kind of lean into it. Like you probably get joyful when you have a good show, right? 

JULIE: I do indeed. I've just written down coping menu. There's a blog coming out shortly. But it's about those things. It's about identifying little moments of happiness that you can call on. And it's going to be different for everybody, of course, but for you, it's your horse, a conversation, or whatever it may be. And I think we become a lot richer if we have a number of these coping things on our menu. And at any one time when we need a pick-me-up, we know that we can sing a song, we can dance in the garden, you know, we can go and find the cat and spend some time with our pets or whatever it may be. 

ERICA: Yeah. As you say happiness is a discipline. Like it's a discipline. The other thing is counting wins. What was a win I had this morning? Well, I'm working with a new author who's, you know, off the chart in his IQ. I'm trying to try to keep up with him. He's like so brilliant and I'm just so so excited because he has like all these books he needs to create. So, that is a win. Now whether we exchange money, whether it actually actualizes, whether right, we don't want to wait until it's all perfect and say all feel happy when it's all perfect. Like that's a game we just don't want to play anymore. But when you're ADHD, I think it can be more challenging to celebrate wins because they might be, you know, they might be like a little win, right? Like you found the right shoes. I'm not kidding. Like finding the right boots that you really like, like that's a thing. 

JULIE: We've talked about wins and things that make you happy. To add to that, what have you learned over the years to work with your brain rather than against it? You know, whether it's a quirky thing or a textbook thing, is there a strategy or mindset that helps you over and above the happiness and the winds? 

ERICA: So, I try to put something exciting in to my life, something that I can look forward to. I have to tell you a funny story. I took all the kids to Capitola, which is a beach town in California. And I really wanted to see dolphins, but dolphins can be very elusive and they don't always show up. And it's very cold water there. So, it's very... it's hit or miss. I said, "If we see dolphins, I'll take you guys to McDonald's." And it was like my kids plus two others. So, like ... six kids. And they brought in the dolphins. And there were just schools of them came in and they were just flying and hopping and flying. There must have been like 30 dolphins. So things like that can give you joy, right? Things like that can give you joy. Just like inviting experiences and be kind to yourself. I had a client, she goes, you know, I read your book, Erica. I really want to find joy, but I don't know how. And I said, okay, well, what if we take the word joy off? Like maybe that's feeling like too much pressure. When do you feel your most you? When do you feel safe? When do you feel comfortable? Like, what are some other words? Like, you know, maybe I'm not an ecstatic individual, right? Well, it turns out she loved to plant flowers. Loved to plant flowers in front of her house. Like, loved it. And I said, well, that's your path. That's your happiness. That's your joy. So, it's planting flowers. So, it's not like you're, you know, making $500,000 on a real estate sale or something. Each of us comes here with a purpose and with something that we can help others do. We can help others learn. So for you, this podcast is helping people and this is an extension of your joy and it helps others feel more comfortable with their brains which are different than everyone else's. Each of us to the degree we can experience more joy is that emotional woohoo, right? That's our guidance system. I mean, not to be like too Abraham Hicks or something, but we have emotional guidance systems. And so when we lean in, like that's why I'm doing the book, The Magic of Horses, right now. Now, I'm doing a book about something that it's just so true to my heart and something I love so much. I'm so passionate about so lit up about it. Right? That energy of being lit up about what you do helps the planet. It's just like what is your joy, and then leaning into it. And again, I love being on an ADHD show because I feel like I can be my natural self instead of trying to be fully purposed on every single concept. But a little freedom to jump all over the place. But the other thing is just keep kind of like give yourself permission. Give yourself pats on the back. A lot of times like young men who were ADHD didn't do well in school and had a lot of trouble with self-esteem, right? Whereas if someone could help them, you know, I taught preschool when I was in college. That was my part-time job. And I had this one little boy and I didn't even know what ADHD was at that time. But everyone else is really happily doing their little things and playing with their little blocks. He's out in the back jumping in puddles, right? Yay. Like he was very incorrigible. And also he was kind of healthier and bigger than the other children. And what I found out was he was smarter and so he'd get bored with the block things that the other kids could play with the blocks for a long time, but he couldn't. He was so bored. I had him tutor. I'd made him a tutor and he would walk around and help all the kids that were having trouble figuring things out. I mean, they're only three or four, right? But they still had things they were doing and little assignments that we would do. And so, I just took that energy and I just helped him focus. And then he became very well-liked because he was helping everyone. And he didn't run out in the puddles anymore. But, I mean, that was really fun to watch. But you know, it's like you're trying to get kids to socialize and sometimes if they have ADHD, they can't socialize as well. 

JULIE: That's a marvellous way of using his strengths and rather than him feeling alienated to bring it back into the fold. I think that's marvellous. My final question for you, Erica, for someone who's beginning to discover their own ADHD, perhaps as a parent, also juggling many things like you once were, what would you like them to hear? 

ERICA: I think one thing I've learned just throughout my life is there are more resources available than we're aware of. So, I would say really get curious and look at look for resources. Look for good books on the topic. There's so much shame. There's so much shame like when my kids were having trouble at school. So much shame around that, right? So, we need to get over that. We need to say, "Hi, brain. How are you? What do you like?" Because it's your brain, so you got to live with it. I mean, the other thing, there's things you can do like you can walk fast for 10 minutes and that will run energy through your synapses and neurons and then it can help normalize you like brain-wise. You can get your brain moving because, otherwise the synapses and the neurons sometimes are a little bit slower to charge. But really look at like how can I get my brain firing? What moves me? For me, dance continues to be like just an amazing tool that I can just turn it on, dance for 10 minutes and move. And the movement helps a lot with again those synapses and moving the energy through them. And because what happens with ADHD sometimes they aren't firing all the same ways. They might not fire the same normal ways as others. And so then it becomes our responsibility to help our own success. 

JULIE: They are great words. Thank you so much, Erica. And on that note, thank you so much for joining us on the show today. Really appreciate your time and your shared lived experience with ADHD. All of those details are going to be in the show notes so our listeners will be able to find them instantly and connect with you. [Oh, thank you so much.]

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Julie Legg

Host
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Jel Legg

Co-host
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Erica Glessing

Guest